I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
