At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have post one night stand depression
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
