We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
