Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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