Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
