Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
