Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
