We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
