You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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