how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think your dad took our porno
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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