Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
