these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
