i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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