I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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