so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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