I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize