I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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