You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
