it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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