Non-Jews are for practice
4 words: hood of his car
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
