I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize