Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
