they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
