So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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