That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
they need to just BURY HIM!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
