my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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