Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
