He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
