dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wish I only lived at night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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