I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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