fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
