plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
