sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
this must be what syphilis tastes like
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
