I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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