apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
