Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
