I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize