Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
