nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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