It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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