Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
