yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
