yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
