would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize