Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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