You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
