the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
