Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize