He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
