Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
