Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
