if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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