Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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