I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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