What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if only i could text you this smell
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
