even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
