I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
nutella sex= disaster
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
