she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
